Sunday, August 29, 2010

Thursday, August 26, Mom turned 83. She seemed happy this day. I had stopped at Schmidts, and bought her a piece of her favorite cake that we use to have with her over her birthday, usually up at Uncle Leo's for the family reunion! She LOVED it and ate every last bite. I also gave her a new little outfit. I hate how her clothes get ruined and she looks so messy most of the time. When she eats, her meal is all over the front of her. And they don't bother to change her, mostly because they just don't have time. Makes me crazy. Wonder if they would like to wear clothes all day they had spilled their coffee or meal down the front of them...and they wonder why she gets agitated. Wouldn't you! I had asked Mick if she wanted to join me and she gladly said yes. We didn't get there until dinner time. Oh how I HATE dinner time! They hadn't brought the meal yet, they were just gathering all the patients in the dining room so it wasn't bad. We just visited with Mom there. The patients loved having the kids there. Mom usually won't sit still, always pushing her way around the center, saying hello to everyone. One man told me last week that she always comes to sing to him in the morning. Not sure how I feel about that! But she's happy! That's good. She has no idea who I or anyone else is. Not even the people that care for her daily. Each of us a new person, each day. Mom says funny things, mostly stuff that doesn't make sense. She said Preslie is a beautiful little boy. The kids are kind of scared of her. Talan wouldn't stand next to her for the picture, but he likes to go. He went with me a few weeks ago when the boys slept over. Safe distance though, not too close! I hope my Mom has a happy year. I guess if your going to be a widow, Mom's state of mind is the way to do that. I can only hope that in this little world that she lives in, that she gets to visit with those loved ones that have past on and that her & Dad can finally see more of one another again! She talks about loved ones alot, mostly her Mom & Daddy. She'll ask me if I've seen her Daddy, or if I want to meet him. I just say, no, not today Mom, but if you see him, go with him okay! When she refers to her Dad, she's speaking of my Dad, but when she says Daddy, it's her Dad. It's just like when your raising your kids, and you learn to follow their language. Last Sunday, when Rick & I visited her, we were in her room and Rick was sitting on a chair next to her and I was on her bed. She scooted her chair right up to Rick, as close as she could, patted his leg, and flirted a bit. Rick was George that day, and if Rick would have leaned into her, I know she would have kissed him. It was kind of funny, but creepy too! We usually laugh some when we visit, if we don't, then we would cry! I wish I could say visiting her is easy, but I can't. It's a challenge and it breaks my heart that she is not the woman she use to be! I miss my Mom. I miss the times that I could talk with her and share my life with her. That part has been gone for a very long time!

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