Tuesday, January 31, 2012

So Rick said "this lady that writes about Capt Bly...kind of a slacker"....He should write don't you think!

So I thought I would do a little catch up...Chris says too much writing, not enough pics...man the men in the house are full of ideas...why don't they do a blog!
Rick's Mom has had a rough 6 months or so...She fell in August and shattered her shoulder. She had a replacement put in, spent some time in the rehab center, went home, and fell again. That's all wrapped into one short story...so much more to it! So many emotions. It's no secret that Rick's family is not close. They have such a different outlook on life, and quite frankly, it's one of the saddest things I have ever witnessed throughout our marriage! How do people in the same family, from the same parents, not have a clue who each other is? Joan, his Mom has always had tunnel vision and only sees what's in her little world, whether it's good or bad...that's what exists to her. Mike sees to her needs, both financial and physical and Tommy & his family see her often and so that's who she recognizes and talks about. Very rarely does she ask about our kids, rarely can she call them by name. Chris hadn't seen her until this picture on Christmas eve since before his mission. How sad is that! Joan's care is demanding more now...she had no business living by herself over the past year. She's been over medicated! (what kind of Dr. gives an elderly woman a prescription of over 120 oxie-codeine pills?) REALLY! Anyway...when we moved her home from Rehab the first time, Mike asked me to help. I followed him while he drove her home. I helped get her settled in the apartment and I felt sick at the thought of her being there alone. She's so much like my Mom was when Mom & Dad moved into the assisted living center. So many things for her to trip over, the risk of the oven and stove, her inability to remember the every day things...I felt so uneasy. I cried all the way home. Not for her, but for me...selfish me, that I could not do this again. I cried because I hated how that made me feel! The emotional roller coaster that she has always caused Rick to ride..it's been so easy to just not be a part of it all these years. Just stay away, it's less hurtful. Now we were being held to what we know is the right thing to do...help. UGH...I just did this! I emotionally could not handle this and I had my pity party! It didn't take long, I believe a month...she fell again.. and now she was in more trouble. Her new shoulder is shattered and they cannot do anything for her. Her health is failing in so many ways. I'm seeing my Mom all over again and I don't believe Mike, who has taken over the medical care for her wants to admit that. Slowly he has come to the realization she can't live alone. She will now be in a care center. It's safer. It's more practical for everyone! It sucks...it sucks big! But what other choice do any of us have. None of us are in any position to have her in our home, besides, after what I have experienced, I don't believe that's the right thing to do in this case. Some cases yes, but not this one. Yesterday she was admitted to the hospital with internal bleeding. Today, they still don't know from where. They will do a colonoscopy tonight to see if they can see anything...she'll probably go back to the care center tomorrow. She's in Bennion Care Center. It's in the middle of reconstruction. I hope I like it better when it's done. Right now, I hate it worse than where Mom was!

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