Monday, March 14, 2011

Mom continues to be strong and remains the same...other than I believe she gets smaller by the month. Last weigh in she was 93 lbs. I'm willing to bet she's below that now. I had not seen her for quite some time. Right after my surgery I became sick with such a cough that I did not want to take that to her. Even though the Dr. stated I wasn't contagious, it seemed as if the whole valley had this cough and I did not want to be the one to bring it to her. Besides, for the most part I just didn't feel well! It's hard enough going there, let alone when your not feeling good! So anyways...when Rick & I went to see her a week ago, for the first time in several weeks, I was surprised at how skinny she had become. Each time wondering how on earth she can loose more weight. When she lying down, it's the worst. You wonder how on earth there are even any organs inside her. You can see her skin just wrap around her skeleton! She mumbles alot, some words are words, but none of them are put together in any kind of a sentence, but then she'll bust out a sentence, like "George, where are you, I've been calling you.....and then ramble some more like she's talking to someone. Or she'll sing. It's mostly a mixture of different hymns. That Friday, we went after we had dinner at a nearby restaurant, so it was about 7ish... I was hating it more than ever. Makes me so sad that she is how she is, so unlike my Mom. But when I started to leave, she patted my hand and told me she was okay. "I'm okay, I'm okay..." just like she knew that my heart was breaking inside to watch her decay like this!
Thursday, on my way home from work I received a call from Dale, her daytime nurse to tell my that Mom had asperated. Okay..what does that mean really? He explained that he had gone in to check on her in bed and found that she has aperated and had to suction her out. She was now resting comfortably with oxygen and he had notified hospice. After I picked up Kallie I decided to stop by and check on her. She was sound asleep in bed, propped up at a 30 degree angle, which is basically sitting straight up, her head just kind of bobbling down. Looked so uncomfortable. I asked if that was necessary and they explained it will help her to breath and get the junk out of her system. I held her hand and tried to get her to wake up a little, but no going....pretty normal for her naps. I didn't stay long. I did go to the head nurse Shawn and asked him to explain in normal terms what all this means and he just said that she basically choked on her own fluids, that you can hear that in their lungs immediately and now we would watch for the phenomia. He then said you will need to make the decision if we will treat it with antibiotics and I stopped him right there stating we have already made that decision and will not. Then he reassured me that it would be a peaceful way to go...really...Dad's wasn't so peaceful-but probably because he had so many other ailments! But anyway...that's the plan if it happens. Lyndsey, our hospice nurse called me on Friday and explained to me that Mom was doing great, her oxygen was over 95% and she is same as ever. She never ceases to amaze any of us! Mom is just not ready to go! I asked if the phenomia would hit that quickly and she said mostly yes, but it could take a few days and that she would watch her closely over the weekend. She left instructions to check her lungs daily. I went in on Sunday and asked the nurse if she had checked her lungs and she had no idea of what I was talking about. Yea, that's a surprise....not! I expected to hear from Dale today, but I didn't. I probably should have called, but I had the kids today and just didn't think about it until his shift was over. I'll call tomorrow. Yesterday, I found her in her room about 1030 am. I tried to get there in time for church, but I was too late. Could have made it a little bit late, but she still had breakfast all over her and needed to be cleaned up so I just took care of that for her. They have a big bib made out of a large towel that goes over her head that was covered in juice and egg. Aide no where around...Rick just laughs and says they saw me coming! I didn't even get mad this time, doesn't do any good. I just cleaned her up myself. I believe I'm the only one who cleans her wheel chair. She's a messy eater, so I just don't get why they don't make it part of the duty as they take care of her, it would be so simple...but apparently not! She gets so mad when you try to change her, clean her up or make any changes. She really fights you. She's real strong! When she grabs you, she holds on for dear life. I had the nurse come in and check her lungs because she was coughing and sounds congested. She could hear the congestion in her upper bronchial, but not in her lungs. We'll see how that goes. I can't get Mom to smile very often, especially when I pull the camera out. She looks at it as such a foreign object. Probably hates the flash! But I kissed her on the cheek and she just laughed and that's how I got this giggle! She thought I was pretty funny! I miss my Mom!

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