JULY~where is time going!!!

Two weeks ago I had the day off so I decided to spend the morning with my Mom. When I arrived, she was in Relief Society. They had just had the opening song and prayer and one of the Relief Society sisters was giving a lesson on Patriotism. Mom just thumbed through the hymn book with her finger like she use to when she would help me to follow the song when I was little. She was off in never never land, but sat quietly throughout the LONG lesson. I wonder sometimes if they really understand how these people are in the center. If anything, I guess it was good practice for the one giving the lesson!:)
The Sunday before, Mom had acperated some food at dinner, or so they thought. My "favorite" (Not so much really) nurse called me about 9 and told me she was in bad shape, they needed me to come and they had called hospice. When I arrived, hospice was there and Mom seemed to be resting comfortably. Little confused! Anyway, she had choked and vomited and diarehha, the whole party...and the chances were very high that she would have fluid in her lungs that could develop into phomenia (Spelling...yeah, not so good at that word!) Now it was a waiting game.
This was such a surprise as that afternoon the visit with her & Dad went better than most. She seemed almost improved, if you can improve at this disease...When they called, it was a panic, but I'm not so sure as to what about. I don't panic or fear her death. I pray for it. But it did catch me by surprise. Linda was out of town, and that freaked me out a bit...not wanting to handle the big thing without her! It made me realize just how much she's in charge of, versus what I know.
I stayed about an hour and left as she seemed to be resting peacefully at this point. Called the next morning and received good report, bad report, mixed report--frustrating again! SIGH!~ Later learned that Mom did do well throughout the night and morning, then threw up some more so they put her back to bed. Linda arrived home and sat with her an hour or so for the next two days. Then this is the day I came. She's the same as before, maybe, just maybe a little more stronger. It's really hard to explain. She's loosing weight by the day. 145 lbs in January, down to 109 last weigh in about a month ago. We don't have a recent weight, but by the looks of her, she's down at least another 5 I would guess.
I wish I could be in that mixed up, lonely mind of hers. She speaks of her brother, her loved ones, both passed on and still alive. As Linda sat with her, she would speak more clearly while sleeping. When awake, she sings to you as part of the conversations. Mostly hymns. I miss my Mom!