thankful heart

it's funny how many little things in life make me think...I should blog that...and then I don't because I don't have a picture...so today just some journaling...
yesterday Shawn & Angela had 2 extra tickets to the Real game and they invited Chris and their Dad. I took the opportunity to keep Kallie. We haven't seen her much and it was fun to play with her as I ran some of my errands! She says "where is it?" Hi! and lots of chatter that only she knows. I played a cd of primary songs while in the car and she loved them...she just sat in the car seat and sang her heart out. It was so cute! I LOVE the time I get with the grandkids. There is NOTHING cooler in life than having their love! After I finished a bunch of running around, we came home and I gave her a bath and put her in her new jammies I bought her. I always try to have a set for each grandchild that stays here. We bought her a new set last night. Just as she was starting to quiet down, Mick and the fam made a surprise visit so she could feed Preslie. I was so happy and so was Kallie. She ran up and gave Talan a hug and he said.."look she so happy to see me!" When it's only Kallie at the house, she always finds Mickie's family picture I have on the book case and she'll carry it around. She must think it's so boring here without them!
After the game they all stopped at our place and for a little while, the whole family was here, minus Tahnie cause she is traveling with volleyball this weekend. It was fun to hear them all laugh and enjoy one another. Now that's pay day! Wish I could just snap pictures of the little moments like that!
Preslie is a spitter upper...ALOT! and she soaked 2 outfits in the short visit they were here. Mick asked me if maybe I could get to her doll clothes and I said better than that..lets see about the old clothes you guys use to wear. I pulled them out, and they were so stinky...smelled old! But how fun it was to see some of the stuff I put on the kids. It was only yesterday wasn't it. Shawn dubsed the first pair of Nike's he had..took them home with him! And now I'm laundering all the stuff to divvy out to those that want....I had more than I remembered!
Today Brother Bednar spoke in a special stake meeting. Rick & I were suppose to meet up with a new ward member, but we missed him..he couldn't remember where to meet us and in a crowd like that it's hard to find a face you think may be someone you have never met. We did speak on the phone after and we're going over to meet him this week. It's so hard initiating the first meet...so uncomfortable! Not sure I will ever get over that one..anyway, glad he made it to the meeting. It was awesome!
I love that man. Simple and frank, the way the gospel really is. He taught how we tend to look at free agency the wrong way...that it's our choice...we can do as we please....not really. The Lord has set the terms and conditions...we don't! We accepted and now the choice is to CTR!! How simple is that. I wish all of our kids would have come. Kind of like the credit card world I work at...We as the company, set the terms & conditions of the loan or credit card. If you accept them, the terms are such that you HAVE to pay it back, or there are consequences. The customer doesn't make the terms...not at all. Same as the Gospel. Heavenly Father made the plan, set the plan out for us, told us the terms, and we accepted. Now what! CTR!

As each Sunday is, I went out to get Dad to see Mom. Today was a hard day. Mom is speaking a little bit better...but only half of her sentence makes sense! Today as Dad was sitting next to her holding her hand, she looked at me and whispered to him.."who's that?" Then she asked Dad.."didn't we use to live together?" He teared up and said, yes we did..yes we did...we both cried, then Mom was sad. I wonder sometimes...what's the pay off? to live to be old so I can have my heart break cause me and my sweetheart can't live together cause one of us is too weak and the other one is without a mind? I don't get it? I don't want to get it or understand it! I want it to stop! Does that make me a bad daughter?