This morning I took Brent & Linda to breakfast and then to the airport...the last of our family to leave from the week of celebrating and honoring our Mom, and of course that included our Dad...they go hand in hand-you really can't honor or speak of one of them, without including the other! My mind is swimming with so many thoughts and emotions that I don't know where to begin...
I'm sad today! Not for my Mom...she's happy and celebrating the reunion with my Dad, her sweetheart, or her "Honey" as they always called one another! I'm sad because...she's gone. They are both gone! I'm sad for me, selfish reasons! I'm sad, because my parents have now became part of the generations that we have looked at in pictures now, because that is all that is left! I can say to you that I truly HATE the disease Dementia...or Alzheimer's. That ugly disease may have robbed me of my Mom for the past 12-15 years...but it did not take away who my Mom was in the end...she left an amazing legacy and love of family. I'm honored to be such a part of her family! I'm honored to be called George & Nona's daughter...and yes, I'm honored to be "their baby"! That phrase use to annoy me...I'm not a baby I would say...but I was THEIR baby...and I'm honored to say that now~
We gathered as an entire family with siblings gathering and supporting and sustaining one another. We have been gathered for the past few years, even through many miles in the support of one another in the care taking. It WAS hard, but it was an honor and I wouldn't trade those days for anything. I still ask myself if I did enough...I should have gone to visit more! But you know what...I hear a soft whisper that I did do enough, that they noticed and appreciated all.
I felt pulled to the cemetery today, all alone, wanting to go by myself. I need this for closure. I need to see the grave covered. Don't ask why, I have no idea! I went...I cried..and sat and listened to the life around that quaint little town. Heard the birds and the small city feeling that is there on that block. I know why they chose that burial. It felt like home to Mom. I felt Mom & Dad near by...I felt their soft whisper of comfort and reply to me to "get on with it"...stop fussin~they were happy! Almost felt like saying out loud, "Okay already!"
I'll get on with it alright, but I need a day or two to cry a bit. I'm told that is healthy!
