On Tuesday May 3rd...I was tanning and noticed a lump on my right breast. Rubbed across it to scratch...and there it was. So prominent and huge. Scared me to death. It clearly wasn't a part of the implant so I knew I needed to have it looked at. Promptly went home and called IMC to schedule a mammogram, as it had been 2 years since my first one. I officially hate them. They really are more than uncomfortable! They in reality hurt like a ...well...they hurt like hell to be honest. No other way to describe them. To save on the dirty details...they just HURT pulling and pushing and mashing! ~. Anyway...when I called IMC to schedule, they asked if I had any problems? I told them of the lump and they told me to call my Dr so they could do a diagnostic mammogram. Of course it was surgery day and Dr Roth wasn't in the office, but I called anyway to see if Stephanie was in the office. She wasn't either, but when the receptionist asked me what was up, I told her, and she had another nurse call me back right away. She asked where I wanted it done and faxed the order over right away. Wow...that's service. I took the first available appointment on Friday May 6th. Rick overheard me making the appointment, I tried to be matter of fact about it, but that's not fair and I told him about it. We didn't speak about it much during the week, if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be bad right! I was scared! All of a sudden more advertisements about breast cancer, seeing a lady without hair due to chemo-advertisements and bulletins about breast cancer were more prevalent EVERYWHERE! Throughout the past couple of years taking care of my parents, I've said, "I'm not afraid of dieing, just the journey that will get me there!".....okay...that's a lie. I'm afraid, very afraid! More afraid of what I would leave behind!

My appointment was at 11 am, so I worked half day. By this time, my stomach was a mess! So jittery! When I arrived and they had me undress and directed me to the exam room, she marked the spot with a sticker so she could be sure to get exactly the right picture. She told me again that I would have results the same day and then I got all emotional. Or I should say, the emotional flood gate opened up. I fought it hard, but wow...it became obvious how scared I really was! They had told me when I scheduled the appointment that they would schedule an ultrasound, just in case they needed it. The mammogram itself was hell..It hurt so much. The lump is very sensitive and sore, so pulling and pressing and mashing it was no fun at all. Normally it's not fun anyway...but with this..well, I got sick, light headed, felt faint and nauseated. Took twice as long cause I'm such a wimp! The tech had to get someone to come help cause I was such a treat! I was so embarrassed! Of course they had to take extra pictures and I thought it would NEVER end! Then there was a little knock on the door and they introduced me to the ultrasound tech and said, "Mrs Blymiller, we're going to take some other pictures to be sure and this is who will take it from here." I wanted to cry at this point. Of course expecting the worst! The ultra sound was so quick and painless. Too bad they can't check the lumps this way without the fun mashing machine! They quickly pulled it up on the screen and a Dr came right in and told me that's what he thought he would see, "just a cyst, normal for "women of my age"...oh how I have learned to hate that answer!...but this time it was really a relief. I cried! He said I had several and asked if my breast were tender...ummmm YES! That's why. This is caused by high hormones and very very common. This one looks like it's on it's way out, so he just said to give it a week or so. If it continues to be bothersome, they can inject them and release the fluids. No thanks. I went directly to my car and cried from relief! Then I called Rick & Mick. Mickie had texted me earlier while I was at work to see if I wanted her to go with me. Although I wouldn't have wanted to be alone getting bad news, I did not want someone waiting and waiting while I went through the exam. If she or Rick were there during the exam, I think I would have been even more emotional. I kept it in check and I don't think I could have with her or anyone I cared about looking in on me! So grateful it's just a cyst, and so grateful I don't have an awful uphill batttle to fight! So grateful for my good health! Put's things in perspective! Doesn't really matter that I don't have much of a savings account! I have my health and my family! That's what is most important!